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A Series of Infomercial Failures

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Personal Policy #17: Disinterestedness

If you make something for the Internet and DON'T get any hate mail, you made something really boring.


Personal Policy #17: Office

Remember, nothing fun has ever happened inside of Microsoft Word.


Personal Policy #16: Panic

Go for it!


Personal Policy #15: Bad time

It is OK if something bad happens to you as long as the experience makes for an entertaining enough story.


Personal Policy #14: Prevention

Do not eat more than one half of any pizza*.

*This does not apply to personal class pizzas.

Personal Policy #13: Bad news

Try to be sensitive when you tell someone that their boyfriend is secretly an international terrorist responsible for death of dozens of Americans.


Personal Policy #12: Meta-policy

Personal policies regulating caffeine consumption at work are doomed to failure.


Personal Policy #11: Valentine's Day

Remember that neglecting fake holidays can have real consequences.

Personal Policy #10: Traffic

Do not follow the siren call of lane splitting.

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