4/13/05
An Open Letter to a Television Show
Dear Arrested Development,
How are you? I have heard that your ratings are not well and this saddens me.
Why can't everyone grow to love you like I have?
Sure, it the beginning, times were tough. I didn't know much about you. You reached out to me with commercials and I ignored you. To your credit, it did not end there. You said to me, "I have a David Cross," and I said "Oh? From Mr. Show? I liked that." Still I hesitated. You were persistent. You got to know my friends, and they told me about you. "Christian, just watch one episode. Nothing fancy."
My heart was cold. I missed your whole first season.
Fortunately, destiny is not easily denied. Tivo found you marathoning in the wilderness on FX. I watched it all, enraptured.
From there it was a whirlwind romance. We had Season 1 DVD rentals, a season premier, and finally, the ultimate commitment, a Season Pass.
With your 2nd season ending, flush with critical acclaim but poor ratings, and your fate in the hands of Fox, I have but one thing to say to you.
You are screwed.
Sincerely,
Christian Ashlock
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