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There is vast array of driver behaviors that make me angry. I should try to be more Zen about congestion or move close enough to work to ride a bicycle. I should, but I won't. I will commute up GA 400 every day so I can increase my blood pressure and decrease my faith in humanity.

Traffic Anger Analogies (fill in the blanks):

BLANK is to Traffic Situation as BLANK is to Other Situation

• Tailgating - Standing too close at a concert and face whipping me with your mullet every time you head bang
• Failure to use your turn signal - Showing up to my house uninvited and drinking my beer. My imported beer.
• Not vacating the left lane to let me pass you - Forcing me to watch American Idol because you are just mentally stunted enough to enjoy it.
• Trying to squeeze through a yellow light and blocking an intersection - Murdering my wife because if you can't have her, fuck it, no one can.
• Cutting in front of a long line of merging cars - Eating the last of the rations in our life raft while I starve to death.
• Letting someone else in front of a long line of merging cars - Stealing $20 from me so you can buy drugs for a pregnant meth addict.
• Slowing down to stare at an accident - Finding yourself on a hijacked airplane and helping the hijackers crash it into a pre-school for the blind.