5/31/05
Sport Gel
I buy hair gel. On occasion, I style my hair. This is not really embarrassing, but isn't the manliest activity either. Real men are bald and in prison or have never cut long hair and are hunting buffalo in prehistoric America. On a semi-conscious level I must perceive purchasing hair products as a threat to my masculinity because I will only buy hair gel with the word "sport" on the bottle. This is obviously ridiculous as there is no sport for which well styled hair is a prerequisite. Most men must feel the same way I do as every men's beauty product from body spray to aftershave is sports branded. If a guy is bleaching his hair to match his favorite ex-boy-band-member, he can rest assured that there is a picture of a man competing in a triathlon on the bottle. Tough guys also prefer their products to be extreme or high endurance. If you're going to spend 20 minutes sculpting your hair into the perfect indie-rock-just-got-out-of-bed-mess, the gel better have the maximum amount of hold allowed by law.
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